Thursday, May 03, 2007

I’m way behind on some of what we’re up to here. We’ve had guinea fowl come and go, geese are back on the field, we’ve ordered sheep but we’re waiting on the fencing before we take delivery of them … and we’ve got a rabbit! French nouns are either masculine or feminine and some, like the word for rabbit, (un) lapin, can be both, so a female rabbit is une lapine . She’s called “Bunny” but before you criticise us for such a cliché, we’re thinking, not so much Bunny as in Bunny Rabbit, but “Bunny Lapine”, a whole lot more sophisticated and evocative of some 1960s Hollywood B-movie actress (see photo) who got her chance at fame not by star quality and acting ability but rather via the casting couch, offering “favours” to some grizzled old cigar-smoking director who’d never quite made it big.

Our Bunny will also have to sleep around and there are plenty of neighbours offering male rabbits and / or advice: Kysinia has offered Bunny the opportunity of some bunny-lurve with her buck but he’s an ornamental pet variety and far too small, in Annike’s opinion, to produce usefully edible offspring. So Celine has come to the rescue, with a huge male, who’s still a virgin. I don’t think we need to worry whether or not he’s up to it, as I believe that bunnies actually wrote the book on shagging! Celine’s buck gets to make the bunny-lurve—queue Barry White music—and Bunny Lapine gets to lay back and think of France while enhancing her career, and we get a production-line of “highly nutritious, low-fat, low-cholesterol meat rich in proteins and certain vitamins and minerals.”

That link is from the United Nations Food and Agriculture division and, before you leap to take us to task about even dreaming of eating such lovely pretty fluffy darlings, take a look at the following link telling that rabbits are now the most abused pet in the UK. All the animals we own are in the food chain but we firmly believe that they should enjoy the best possible life before being swiftly and humanely despatched ... and don’t worry, we haven’t got a dog.